The Honest Truth About Being Happy and Anxious
Do you ever feel overwhelmed, sad for no clear reason, or like nothing is going right? Maybe even all of the above?
Same.
That used to be my baseline. I’m in my forties and have lived with anxiety and depression for most of my life. And yet—I also consider myself a happy person. Genuinely.
But that happiness? It didn’t just show up with a balloon bouquet one day. It’s something I work on, every single day.
Happiness Is Built—Not Found
Happiness, in my experience, isn’t something that just happens. You don’t stumble into it while walking the dog or buying produce at Trader Joe’s.
I built my version of happiness by focusing on three key things:
Self-awareness
Compassion
Gratitude
Not sexy. But seriously effective.
No, I’m Not Happy All the Time (And That’s Not the Goal)
Am I happy all the time? Absolutely not.
Anyone who says they are is either lying or has mastered emotional dissociation on an elite level. Life throws curveballs. Some of mine have included:
Crying yourself to sleep and not knowing why.
Canceling plans because leaving the house feels impossible.
Being overwhelmed by . . . everything.
Feeling like you’re the only one who doesn’t have it “figured out.”
Sound familiar?
The Good News: You’re Not Alone
Even if you:
Struggle with social situations
Are on meds for your mental health
Feel joy and sadness within five minutes of each other
Worry you’re the only one feeling this way
You are not alone.
And even more importantly: it is possible to live a life that feels meaningful—even beautiful—with anxiety in the passenger seat.
The Path That Helped Me Feel Better
Focusing on the stuff I can control has been key. Things like:
Building self-awareness so I can notice when I’m spiraling
Practicing compassion instead of shame
Creating small moments of gratitude throughout my day
These things are learnable. And they get easier because you are physically rewiring your brain.
A Quick Practice
Before bed tonight, name one thing you’re grateful for. Or brush your teeth while thinking of something kind you’d say to a friend—and then say it to yourself.
Still drawing a blank? Ask someone close to you what they love about you. (It’ll feel weird. Do it anyway.)
Final Thought: You Can Hold Both
You can be happy and anxious. You can feel heavy one day and light the next. You can build a life that honors all your emotions—not just the shiny ones.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing your best.
And that is more than enough.
Reflection
What’s one small practice that brings you a sense of peace, even on hard days?